The Silent, Dream-Stealing Monster

Depression is a funny thing. And when I say funny, I mean the furthest thing from. For me it presents as a silent, vile, soul-sucking, dream-stealing demon that I’m unable to see until it’s devoured everything that makes me happy.

You know those profile details you put on every social media account that lists your interests. Think of your top three. Do they make you smile? Mine do. They are reading, writing, and art. Not always in that order, but always in the top three. Now imagine if every time you thought about one of those top three things, instead of a smile it brought out feelings of anger, hatred, disgust, sadness, and guilt.

That’s the true face of depression for me. It snuck up on me gradually, disguising itself as stress, exhaustion, sickness, and boredom. For months it crawled through my inner joy and took little bites with venomous teeth until one day I found myself staring out the window for hours, floundering in the realization that there was nothing in the world I wanted to do. Had I ever liked to do anything? I didn’t want to read. The very thought made me exhausted. I didn’t want to paint, draw, refinish furniture, or crochet. Worst of all, I didn’t want to write. I hated the idea of putting words down. I even despised the characters in my manuscripts that I had once loved so much. Writing? No. Never again.

I confessed this to a friend, thinking that perhaps my interest in writing had just waned. Perhaps I never was a writer and this passing fad was now done. “Do you mean, like, forever?!” she asked. And I really believed this was the case.

Motivational memes and happy writers on Facebook and Twitter only made me feel worse. “Have you written today?” “4000 words and counting!” And worst of all, “Writers write even when they don’t want to!”

Well I didn’t want to. I wasn’t even sure how I ever had! I hated it! Hated them all! Those annoying, prolific, happy writers, so cocky and confident that their loves and talents would always be there. Didn’t they know that talent was fleeting? That at any moment it could be ripped away, trampled on the ground. Unbearable jerks, all of them.

I’ve suffered with depression before. Written through it. Infused the dark feelings and sadness into my manuscripts to great effect. This round of depression socked me so hard I was certain I never see light again. I would never read. I would never write. And I would never again create beautiful art. That part of my life was over. All I could do was survive.

You’ll be happy to note the word “was” in the previous paragraph. Today I feel better. The sun is shining the rich scent of cut grass and a first cutting of alfalfa is in the air, and I got to take my doggies to the dog park. I was able to smile even when they annoyed me, and I felt lightness on my shoulders for the first time in months. Perhaps I could write again.

My marker for how well I’m feeling has been my writing, and obviously I’m once again putting words to the page. It’s been a long, slow, uphill battle. I have had many small victories and large steps backward. I’ve had to come to some surprising realizations about depression and who I am as a person.

Present me with a physical enemy and I’ll slice and dice the bastard with a great deal of bloodthirsty delight rather than let him take one inch. But this subtle monster, this thing called depression, knows me. It knows what to target that will cause me the most pain. It knows where to stab, what to whisper, and how to settle deep into my mind without me suspecting a thing until it’s almost too late.

I am not writing this post to teach about depression, preach about mental health, or ask for sympathy. I am simply putting words to a page in an all out assault against the monster who tried to steal my life. I see you now. I know who you are and I’ll be damned before I let you take one more inch.

Tips for Creating Characters in Short Fiction

In honor of the release of Secrets and Doors, I'm offering a few tips for creating characters in short fiction... like the title suggests...

Characters. That’s why I read. I want to meet interesting people and see them doing interesting things. I like to be in their heads. How do they think? Why do they feel the need to act this way?

In a novel an author can use pages and pages to create a character. Using the character’s past and present experiences, and internal dialogue, the reader slowly learns who this person is and they get very attached to them as they live through sorrow, trials, trauma, and joy.

So what does that mean for the short story? The author doesn’t get pages to set up a character. How can an author, make sure his/her characters are fully developed within a couple of sentences?

Essentially, in a short story, the reader is being dropped into the middle of a dramatic moment of the character’s life. Their backstory is a mystery and you don’t have the luxury of a prologue or cute anecdotes into their past except on a minute level. Here’s a couple of tips to help you create that fully formed characters in a matter of sentences.

1. Make sure you know your character and their backstory in all its sordid detail. Know them as well as you know yourself. Know what makes them tick, what trials they've had in their life that makes them soft spoken, or gruff, or funny. Having these kind of details in your mind will help to color every thought, word spoken, or motivation.

2. Now assuming this character is now fully fleshed out in your mind, add in tidbits of their backstory through your character's actions, reactions, and dialogue as though the reader already knows their backstory. This will give  the impression of a real, incredibly interesting person the reader just hasn’t gotten to know yet. In Reflection, by Terra Luft, she artfully does this by giving her character an intense emotional response to something we would consider mundane: a sweeper on the street scattering a puddle of water. Make the reader curious.

3. Use dialogue and stereotypes to your advantage. We all speak in different tones, languages, and dialects, which help to pinpoint the place we grew up and possible experiences we endured as a child (aka backstory). You know a Texan is going to say what’s on their mind and probably try to shoot you at some point. A southern belle will speak sweetly and yet somehow make you feel small.  Don’t try to go too far outside a stereotype. Use those kind of twists for a novel, unless the twist is vital to the plot of your short story. In Johnny Worthen’s piece, A Thousand Secret Doors, from the first section of dialogue you can glimpse a backstory and two distinct personalities simply through the phrases they use.

In short, (pun absolutely intended!) drop your readers into the middle of the story. Make sure your characters have a distinct personality from their first line. Keep backstory brief and relevant and above all don’t try to do too much. This is a short story, for crying out loud! The reader of a short story just wants a glimpse, they don't want your character's entire life story.

Secrets and Doors

Open the door and unlock the secrets in eleven short stories from The Secret Door Society, an organization of fantasy and science fiction authors dedicated to charitable work. All proceeds from this anthology benefit the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation in their quest to cure Type One Diabetes (T1D).

In these pages you’ll discover a modern woman trapped in an old fashioned dreamscape, a futuristic temp worker who fights against her programming, a beautiful vampire’s secret mission disrupted by betrayal, a sorcerer’s epic battle against a water dragon, the source of magical mirrors—and more. There are tales for every science fiction and fantasy taste, including new works from award-winning authors Johnny Worthen, Lehua Parker, Christine Haggerty, and Adrienne Monson.

Join us in the fight against T1D as you peek into a world of magical and mysterious doorways—if you dare.

Military Terms, and Acronyms, and Rank Structure, Oh My!!

My book club read and discussed Heart of Annihilation last month. It was an interesting night full of great on/off topic discussions and plenty of laughs. However, a lot of my book club friends are not what I would consider my target audience. Some were not big science fiction or action/adventure fans. Others knew very little about the military and if there's one thing my book does well it's accurately describe a military setting. This is great for authenticity, but really hard on a reader who may not know anything about rank structure, or what all those little letter/number things are that people tend to shoot with. And don't get me started on the acronyms...!

So today I'm going to give a brief tutorial of military acronyms used in the book as well as other possibly confusing military terms and relevant rank structure. Rank is super important in any military book so pay attention! Remember, this is Army rank, which is almost completely different from the other branches of the service.


Military terms:

Civilian: Anyone who is not military. Sort of like a Muggle. A lot of you reading this are civilians. Clothing that is not a uniform is referred to as "civvi's."

Armory: Traditionally used to store weapons and ammo. Nowadays the "armory" often refers to the building that is the headquarters for certain unit. This includes a CTA (see below), offices, classrooms, latrines, storage space, and, yes, even an actual armory.

CTA: Company Training Area. Large area where the company can gather for formation (ie: standing in neat rows of squads and platoons) in order to take care of formal company business and ceremonies. Also used to gather gear, clean weapons, eat, and whatever else a functioning company wants to use it for.

HMMV: High Mobility Muti-terrain Vehicle. Also known as a Humvee or a Hummer. Different from the shiny, civilian-type Hummers, these are slow, practical, powerful and can even drive partially underwater and be fine. Very reliable and sturdy.

Deuce: A Deuce and a Half, or affectionately known as a Deuce, is a large military transport truck. They usually have two long, splintery benches in the back for sitting and are covered by a pioneer-wagon-style canvas tarp.

Round: For lack of a better word, this is a bullet, except that it is actually a combination of the bullet (think metal projectile that shoots from the gun), and the brass casing that holds the "bullet", and the gunpowder. All together it is called a round. These are the things you load into a magazine (see below).

Tracer round: Basically it is a bullet that glows brightly when shot, making if visible to the naked eye. They are very cool. The round Rose carries around is a Tracer. I pulled this information off of Wikipedia because it explained it better than I could.

 Tracer ammunition (tracers) are bullets or cannon caliber projectiles that are built with a small pyrotechnic charge in their base. Ignited by the burning powder, the pyrotechnic composition burns very brightly, making the projectile visible to the naked eye. This enables the shooter to follow the projectile trajectory to make aiming corrections.

Magazine: This is not something that has home decorating tips or celebrity gossip. It is the square-ish metal thing you load your rounds into so that you can snap the whole thing into your weapon and be able to fire constantly until the ammo runs out. I would carry a half a dozen of these in my utility belt when we were out training so I wouldn't have to bother loading them.

Weapons: (note: soldiers know to call these things weapons, not guns. A rifle is a rifle, while a pistol is a pistol. Calling them all weapons is easiest. I mean, just try to call your rifle a gun when a Drill Sergeant is nearby... You'll only do it once.)

M-16: Big ol' awesome rifle, although surprisingly light and has very little kick. It is wickedly accurate, especially in the hands of a pro. I used the M-16 A2 (which is the 2nd version of the rifle) when I was in basic training. It can fire a single shot at a time (one trigger pull, one shot) or has a function where you can fire a 3 round burst (one trigger pull, three shots). The M-4 is what is used most in the military now. This is the weapon we switched to when I joined my Special Forces group. It's very similar to the M-16 and the civilian version (AR-15), but has a retractable butt. I could go on and on. There are books written about these things. If you want more information check out Wikipedia's page here.

M-249 SAW: Light machine gun. Used by a single gunner. When I was in the service we were still using the M-60, also known as the "pig". It's similar to that. It can mount on top of a Humvee, or be carried. You can shoot it from your shoulder, but I wouldn't recommend it, despite what Rambo does. And I dare you to fire it with the ammo belt wrapped around your shoulder. Ouch! Learn more about the SAW from Wikipedia here.

9mm: Small, reliable handgun. A pistol (which means is uses a magazine). Standard army issue.

.50 caliber machine gun: Big, freakin' heavy machine gun. Has to be fired from a vehicle mount or from the ground on a tripod. Butterfly trigger (meaning you use both your thumbs to fire it), and has rounds as long as your hand. I have a pen made from a .50 cal brass casing. It's totally wicked. I sign books with it sometimes. Learn more here.

An M-16 A2 hard at work. The blocky thing sticking out of the bottom near his hand is the magazine. It is filled with rounds.

Rank:

There are rank names for the pay grades. For enlisted personell this is their E-grade (E stands for enlisted), or pay grade (how much they get paid compared to others). For officers it is an O-grade (O for officer). Officers always outrank enlisted no matter how high the enlisted person or how low the officer.

NCO: Noncommissioned Officer. These enlisted soldiers have gone through an intensive Leadership Training course and are fit to lead soldiers under their command. They are smart and hard-working, but always need to answer to the officers over them. They are made up of Corporals and Sergeants. (Learn more about enlisted rank structure below.)

Officer: Trained separately from enlisted soldiers and are taught to lead while enlistees are trained to follow. They always outrank an enlistee, even a high ranking NCO. (Learn more about Officer rank structure below.)

Enlistees:
Private (PVT): Very lowest in the military. E1-E3  Private E1 is the lowest of the low. They don't even wear a rank insignia on their uniform. Private E2 is just above that, and then Private First Class(PFC) is an E-3. Luginbeel is a Private E-2, just out of basic training. Poor, little peon... He probably just got his mosquito wings (see rank insignia below).

Specialist (SPC): E4, just above Private First Class. Kris Rose is a Specialist. It sounds special but it's really just the name of a rank, and not a very high one at that.

Corporal (CPL): Also an E4. However a Corporal is considered an NCO(see above). Therefore, he outranks a Specialist even though they have the same pay-grade. Thurmond is a Corporal. I like that it almost makes him and Rose equals.

Sergeant: Sergeants come in all shapes and sizes. They make up the rest of the "enlisted" soldiers. The first is your average Sergeant (E5-SGT), or "Buck Sergeant". Sergeant Sanderford is an E5. Then is a Staff Sergeant (E6-SSG). Wichman is a Staff Sergeant. Then Sergeant First Class (E7-SFC), Master Sergeant (MSG) and First Sergeant (E8-1SG), and then the highest of the enlisted Sergeant Major (SGM), Command Sergeant Major(CSM) and Sergeant Major of the Army (E9-SMA).

Rank Insignia

Officers:
I don't deal with a whole lot of Officers in Heart of Annihilation, but the ones I do are important. Check out where Justet and the commander fit. It might surprise you.

Lieutenant: 2nd Lieutenant (O1-2LT) is the lowest of the officer rank. Often referred to as a Butter Bar (see rank insignia below). 1st Lieutenant (O2-1LT) is just above that. Justet is a 2nd Lieutenant. He's bottom of the barrel, probably just out of a college ROTC program and knows very little about what an enlisted soldier goes through for training. Technically, however, he still outranks any of the enlisted soldiers, although a wise 2nd Lieutenant will always defer to the advice of his NCOs. You can also see why Sanderford refers to him as "LT". It's subtly disrespectful.

Captain(CPT): O3.

Major(MAJ): O4. The commander (Major Jaimie Kuntz) holds this rank. "The commander" is an unofficial title used for the officer who is commanding a particular unit. Any officer could hold that title, not just a Major.

Lieutenant Colonel(LTC): O5.

Colonel(COL): Full bird Colonel. O6.

Brigadier General(BG): O7.

Major General(MG): O8.

Lieutenant General(LTG): O9.

General(GEN): O10.

General of the Army(GA): We'd call him a 5 star. No O-grade. There is only one of these in the Army. The lower Generals are also extremely limited.

Officer Rank Insignia

Then there are Chief Warrant Officers (CWO) O1-5. I'm not going to get into those because I know little about them and they are not relevant in my books. If they ever become relevant I will do the necessary research. Although I did know a guy once who went from being a Master Sergeant to a CWO....


So there you have it. By no means a comprehensive list (you'd have to go through Boot Camp to learn all that). If there are any in the book that I missed, or that you're simply curious about, let me know and I'll add them to my list.

Memory War

Today I'm hosting the talented Paul Anthony Shortt, a fellow WiDo author. He just released the third book in his trilogy, Memory War, and agreed to sit for an interview, electronically speaking.

Christauna:  Hi there, Paul, tell us a little bit about yourself. Where are you from?

Paul: Hi Christauna, thanks for having me.

I live in Ireland, with my family. We've got three little girls and a pair of very energetic dogs so it's a busy household. Sometimes it can be tricky finding time to write. 

C: Boy do I understand that! So this is the third book in your trilogy?

P: Yes. Originally the series was going to be 6 books, but it came to getting the second book ready, I realised that the series would be much stronger and more focused if I reduced the length.

C: How is writing the conclusion of a series different than writing a first novel or even a second one? I only ask because I'm plowing through revisions on the second book in my series currently and have only just started writing the third. So spill. I'm dying to know.

P: Endings are a big deal. For me, there's no more important part of a story. I've seen a lot of series, whether they be books, tv shows, or movies, where the series ended on a flat note, and it's so disappointing. I wanted to make sure this book did everything I've always wanted to see in an ending. I had to bring everything I'd learned in my time working on the trilogy; pull out all the stops and make it as exciting as possible, while still keeping the story grounded in what had come before, and making sure the end was satisfying and didn't leave too many loose strings.

C: I couldn't agree more. Now I'm even more worried about concluding my series the right way. Anyhoo... tell us about Memory War.

P: Memory War sees the conclusion of Nathan Shepherd's story, something that's been brewing in my head for years now. After realising his past as a reincarnated champion of good, and giving hope back to New York, Nathan now has to face his greatest challenge. His relationship with Elena, his former lover, is strained to breaking point because of his betrayal in a past life, and his nemesis, Athamar, returns to New York to wage war. Nathan has to rally his allies, come to terms with his mistakes, and accept the possibility that this lifetime may well end with blood and pain.

C: What inspired this story?

P: That's kind of hard to say for certain. As a whole, the idea for the series came from wondering what would happen if, in a world of the supernatural, ordinary humans had an edge of their own against monsters? I was tired of seeing vampires and wizards as the primary heroes, with regular people relegated to supporting roles. That's where the reborn came from, the idea that everyday people can remember past lives, and if they practice, can draw strength and knowledge from the memories. Memory War, itself, came from simply wanting to present the most explosive, satisfying conclusion I could offer. 

C: What is your favorite thing about being an author?

P: Getting to lose myself in a story, and indulge my childish side as I soak up lessons in story structure, character development, and narrative from as many sources as I can, from mythology to video games to the latest animated kids' movie.

C: Tell us about your writing process.

P: I'm a reluctant plotter. I usually like to dive into a story and see what ideas come to me, picking and choosing the ones I like. Of course for sequels this becomes trickier, as I have to take into account what's gone before. I get my best ideas while listening to music. I'll imagine scenes happening along with the music, most often coming up with the ending first, and then craft the story and characters around that. When I get to around the halfway point in a draft, I then start to determine how to bring the story to a finish.

C: Last question. Have you ever patterned a character after a person in order to honor that person... or perhaps to get revenge? No, don't answer that... hee hee...

P: Definitely not to get revenge. That's a risky proposition for any author. But I did base Nathan's father, Mike Shepherd, off my own dad. While the two have different backgrounds and traits, they both have the same level-headed, pragmatic idealism. Both wanted their sons to be the best men they could be, and passed on valuable lessons about how to approach life. Both would fiercely protect their loved ones from a threat.

C: Anything else you’d like to add?

P: Thank you again for having me. I hope you, and everyone else, enjoy the new book!

C: It was a pleasure! Thanks for being here.

You're going to want to get the first two in the series first, Locked Within (book 1), Silent Oath (book 2). Oh and don't forget the prequel to Silent Oath, Taking Sides. All are available on Amazon or wherever books are sold.

War is coming to New York. Nathan Shepherd’s growing band of followers is dedicated to protecting the city, but they now face their greatest threat. 

Athamar returns, plunging the city into chaos. Uniting the forces of darkness against Nathan and his allies, Athamar strives to discover a secret hidden for thousands of years. A secret lost to Nathan’s memories. Something so dangerous, even the gods themselves fear it. 

Nathan and Elena were once the greatest of heroes, champions against evil. Now, haunted by Nathan’s past-life betrayal, they must work together and brave the pain of long-buried lifetimes. Somewhere, locked within their former incarnations, lies the key to stopping Athamar, an enemy who has hunted them from one incarnation to the next. 

As the city burns and innocents suffer, as heroes fall and hope dies, Nathan and Elena face their final battle, a battle where legends will be reborn.

Biography

A child at heart who turned to writing and roleplaying games when there simply weren't enough action figures to play out the stories he wanted, Paul Anthony Shortt has been writing all his life.

Growing up surrounded by music, film and theatre gave him a deep love of all forms of storytelling, each teaching him something new he could use. When not playing with the people in his head, he enjoys cooking and regular meet-ups with his gaming group.

He lives in Ireland with his wife Jen and their dogs, Pepper and Jasper. Their first child, Conor William Henry Shortt, was born on July 11th, 2011. He passed away three days later, but brought love and joy into their lives and those of their friends.

The following year, Jen gave birth to twins, Amy and Erica. Their fourth child, Olivia, was born in January, 2014.

Realignment

If you've been wondering why I've been unavailable for the past week it's because I've been out of town. Well, more like out of the country. Like in Mexico... helping orphans.... Are you impressed?

When I agreed to attend the 2014 Asay family reunion last year, I had no idea that it would land a week before my book release and send us far off the grid. As I realized that the dates were so close, I balked. How could I step away from my home, my book-related work and....and....wi-fi for a whole week just before Heart of Annihilation hit the shelves?! Even to help Mexican orphans.

I whined, complained, stressed and probably even cried a little until my husband gave me the option to back out of the trip. It was then that I realized that I really did want to go. I wanted to spend time with my children and help those in need. Honestly I think I really needed to get away from my life. So I contacted my publisher and, being the fantastic company that they are, they suggested that I go on the trip. The book was in good hands and would be here when I got back. So I packed my small children off to my parents house and my larger children in the car and we headed to Mexico.

We roughed it in little adobe bunk houses near the orphanage

 I worked on a massive mural and helped build a rock wall.

We went took the orphans to the beach...

...played with kids...

...ate with kids...

...fed the homeless, learned some spanish, tried some great food, sweated a whole lot, killed a ton of bugs, shared two toilets and three showers among fifty people, and fell into bed each night exhausted. 

Publishing this book has been an all encompassing task. I've slept, ate and drank it. I've obsessed over every detail and let it take over my life. Going to Mexico really pulled me out of my rut. I couldn't work on anything book related, so I didn't. I was able to look outside myself. I was able to separate the things of most importance and prioritize. I'm still tired from the week and thrilled to be back in the states. I'm so grateful for my life and the opportunities I have in this country.

I'm ready to get down to the nitty gritty publishing related work and get this book released tomorrow. But I will be doing it from a different perspective.

Realignment complete.